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No Peace No Quiet, Inc., is dedicated to creating safe spaces online for victims and survivors of domestic violence and abuse.
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Are They Baiting You or Telling Their Story?
By Rachel DePalma | Certified Advocate
- Abusers are very skilled at playing the victim with their believable story telling abilities with provocative statements to elicit an emotional reaction. Abusers use a tactic known as DARVO. Which stands for deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. Distinguishing the difference between an abuser who is baiting looking for attention and a victim telling their story can sometimes be difficult. Here is a breakdown to help differentiate the two:
- Intent:
- - Baiting typically involves trying to provoke a reaction or response from others, often for entertainment, attention, or manipulation. - Telling your story involves sharing personal experiences, perspectives, or insights with the intention of self-expression, connection, or communication.
- Content:
- - Baiting often involves exaggerated, controversial, or misleading statements designed to elicit a specific reaction. - Telling your story focuses on genuine experiences, emotions, and observations from your life.
- Engagement:
- - Baiting tends to prioritize eliciting a reaction from others, often through shock, outrage, or controversy. - Telling your story aims to engage others through empathy, relatability, or shared experiences.
- Authenticity:
- - Baiting may lack authenticity, as it's often driven by ulterior motives or a desire for attention. - Telling your story is authentic, as it reflects your genuine experiences, emotions, and perspectives.
- Impact:
- - Baiting can lead to negative consequences such as conflict and division that causes harm to others. - Telling your story can foster understanding, connection, and empathy among others.
- To distinguish between the two, consider the motive behind the communication, the content being shared, and the expected outcome. If the primary goal is to genuinely share your experiences and connect with others, it's likely telling your story. However, if the intention is to manipulate or provoke a reaction, it may be baiting. Intention is the key and it is important to keep in mind that abusers want to be right, while victims want to be heard.
- If you or someone you know is in need of support services, please visit our resources page. Did you find this article helpful? Drop us a comment on LinkedIn. ___________________________________
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